I've been wondering who selects the music that’s played over the public address speakers downtown inbetween the tornado warnings and noon whistles. Is it the mayor? The police chief? Lawrence Welk‘s nephew? I was wondering if it is an appointed position, an elected position, or left up to whoever brings the donuts.
Does someone get paid to change the records? Does someone get paid to sit there all day in case the record skips? Do they bring their own records from home or buy them at flea markets? Is there a request line?
I guess some of that “doggie in the window” stuff is OK, but personally, I'd prefer to hear the Beach Boys doin "Giddyup 409" while I'm downtown paying my traffic fines. Maybe some Leslie Gore singing “It‘s My Party And I‘ll Cry If I Want To” over by Republican Headquarters! Driving by the Mayor’s office would be a good time to play the Shangri-Las singing “Leader of the Pack”, and let’s not leave out Faron Young doing “Hello Wall” down you know where. We could all dance to “Yakety Yak” outside Council Chambers, “Sad Movies” down by the Palace Theater, and “Little Town Flirt” outside the Courthouse. Yea! I love Rock and Roll - put another 5-bucks in the jukebox, baby!
Of course, there are folks that swing donuts a lot faster than I do. Big Band fans that would surely be firing up the old Victrola with Kate Smith, Guy Lombardo and Thomas Edison albums as they’re wheeled up the bus ramp. Oh the humanity! Saxophones, bow ties and bubbles everywhere!
Don’t forget to “howdy” our “pickin’ and grinnin‘ pards” out there a wantin’ to twang some Johnny Paycheck and Johnny Cash outside the banks whilst Loretta Lynn’s doin’ her “Coal Miner” thing down by the old Shovel.
Don’t leave out the Hip Hoppers and Heavy Metalers. OK, leave them out.
One thing‘s for sure. If your ever walking past the cream puff tent at the Popcorn Festival and hear “How Great Thou Art” instead of “Yummy Yummy Yummy” you’ll know the Baptists beat me to the turntable.
