In the last couple months, I have had several conversations with people trying to figure out what to do about going to a church that they were not being spiritually fed at but can’t leave because of their kids. After more than 20 years in camping ministry, youth ministry and church leadership, I have heard several reasons why but they usually come into the same main points…
– the kid’s friends from school are there
– their extended family goes there and want to keep every one together
– there are a ton of kids at this particular church
– the kids think it’s fun
– the church has spent top dollar in programing, multi-media, and other resources
– their youth have been going there since they were kids and don’t want to move (even if they are not being spiritually fed)
I understand many of these from a culture stand point but can I suggest they are not the best reasons for staying at or choosing a church? A matter of fact, I would dare say they teach our kids how to be consumers of church more than church community and are leading them down a dangerous path.
Church is more than a Sunday morning experience and if that is all we are giving them, there is a strong likely hood they will walk away from church as adults. Let me suggest some things to consider when looking at a church for your kids …
– Ask yourself, what kind of church do you want for your kids once they are off the playground and dealing with the world. Is the church giving them love? Bible teaching (more than cute stories)? Willing to struggling with the hard stuff? Showing them real community that seeks God together and follows Him in unity? What do you want them to have and know by the time they are young adults? Are they being spiritual fed and matured?
– Ask yourself, what kind of person are they teaching my child to be? Are they modeling it in action? If you believe your child has a purpose in this life under God’s leading, is the church family and leadership willing to partner with you as you guide your child on that path?
– Does the church preach salvation and the Scripture? The last thing you want is your child learning church is nothing more than a motivational speaker preaching to the choir to give them a quick fix. Go deeper for your kids sake….
– Lastly, and maybe most important… ask yourself if you are being spiritually fed at the church. Your kids need to see Christ in you and your life much more than any preacher, youth leader or children’s volunteer. Don’t settle and teach them what it looks like to become complacent in your spiritual walk and then wonder later why they do the same in their adult years. Model for them what a hungry, faithful, and serving life looks like and they will follow.
I’m sure I am forgetting a few as I write this one on the fly but my hope is to get people thinking. Finding the church God has for you and your family is a vital issue. Don’t let the kids lead you, lead them.
Pastor Tom Hypes
The Shepherd’s Fellowship
About Tom Hypes
