This week, I was preaching on the importance of Christian Community through local church bodies. You will find the full talk on my web-site at www.tomhypes.com but this part is something I get asked about often so I thought I’d break it out as a blog.
What do you do if you do not find yourself unhappy in your current church? Well, not just unhappy but hurt, unsettled, overwhelmed, thirsty, or alone where you are suppose to be experiencing so much more (worship, personal ministry, evangelism, fellowship, and discipleship).
To boil it down to a nut shell, let me suggest the following steps….
First, take a pause, get into the Word, pray over it and check yourself. Quite frankly, there is a chance you are the problem. Your heart, pain, or expectations may be off when compared to the heart of Christ. Take the time to breathe and do some self examination. If you are the problem, address it….. if not, step two.
Make sure you communicate. Talk to the person(s) you need to speak to. Don’t skip this step just because it may be uncomfortable. Your a big boy or girl now so communicate. Talk to the pastor, the elders, the youth leader, the children’s coordinator, the brother or sister in Christ that is involved. You’d be amazed how much loving, open talk can change the situation.
If at first you don’t succeed, communicate a little more by going the extra mile. In our church, if you have a conversation with me as pastor and you don’t feel the end result was what needs to be, you are invited to go to the elders in love and openness as I am accountable to them. Communication is always worth the extra step.
However, once full communication is explored and you are still not at a place you can support the church, drop some walls, or move on being spiritually challenged and fed there….. it may be time to go to the next step.
It might be time to leave and find a new church. It does happen sometimes as God leads. Some won’t do this step because they have family in the church, roles they serve in, or hate change. However, if God is leading you elsewhere….. GO!
When leaving a church, think of it like breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend. Being in a church is relational and emotions are involved. Don’t just slip out the back door leaving everyone hurt and wondering. Don’t just send a text or an email. You have already communicated so do a little more. Take the time, to meet with the right people, tell them you love them, but that God is leading you on. Take a moment to ensure them that you will continue to lift them up in prayer and ask them to do the same for you. When someone does this at my church, I respect them all the more and do whatever I can to help them in their transition.
Final step, find a new church and PLUG IN! Don’t just look for the latest hot church trend, a place where you can hide, or a place that has all kinds of entertainment and ministries for your family so you don’t have to do anything. God created His Church so we can all do our part in the work and encourage and challenge each other in our relationships (that takes more than Sunday morning to foster). Find a place that isn’t just a warm fuzzy on Sunday morning but challenges you, grows you and you experience God through.
Community of any kind can be tough sometimes but when you are where God wants you, with an open heart and people who love you…..It’s so worth it.
Feel free to contact me if you are looking for a church home as we know many great churches in the Marion area……
About Tom Hypes
